BATTEN down the hatches, the Big Brother storm has officially hit.
Monday night’s launch of the eleventh season of BB Australia pulled a modest 1.076 million viewers but was just pipped at the post by Seven’s rival X Factor on 1.17 million.It’s surprising BB didn’t rate a tad higher for Nine, given this year's crop of cringe-worthy housemates. Where do they even find these people?
Here's what went down last night:
Television’s ultimate social experiment is upon us once more, and Monday night’s premiere introduced us to a dozen hopefuls entering the brand spanking new house.
But first, let’s talk about host Sonia Kruger. She’s a vision in pink lace, and there’s a definite hint of her growing baby bump.
“Does this dress make me look fat?” the 49-year-old joked as she stepped onto the stage to welcome the live audience.
MORE: Who exactly IS Big Brother?
Kruger, who is stepping back into her hosting heels for a third season, announced just weeks ago that she is expecting her first child. Talk about a ratings bonanza for Channel 9.
The popular television personality is now four months pregnant, but she swore she wouldn’t be seen dead wearing kaftans or maternity dresses to hide her baby bump, and this floor-length figure hugging frock is an absolute knockout. Go girl!
She also informs viewers that they are about to witness a “Big Brother world first”, saying housemates will play in pairs, which will change the game completely.
“We are going to push each of the housemates to their limit,” Kruger promises.
They’re also sleeping in pairs this year. Can’t wait to see how this twist plays out.
Brace yourselves, here come the housemates ...
Our first housemate for 2014 is Priya, 27, from Adelaide.
What we know: Priya is a teacher and claims, “I am bossy, I love being in control ... I don’t mind whether I’m loved or hated as long as I’m being thought of or talked about.”
Priya also warns that she has no filter. We’re annoyed by her already, which is unfortunate because ‘Posh Spice’ and whoever she chooses to buddy up with are this season’s first Head of House, whatever this means.
Priya chooses to pair with Katie, 25, from Sydney.
What we know: Katie recently lost 13kg and says she feels like a completely different person. “If you messed with me and I feel like I’m being taken advantage of, I will cut you off, and not in a nice way,” she declares.
Duly noted, but just one question — what’s the nice way?
Priya and Katie are unleashed in the new look pad and are sent straight to the power room to be given their secret mission.
First things first, Katie asks Big Brother for some champas. Priorities.
Next up we meet Jake, 25, from Brisbane.
What we know: “I can give it but I definitely can’t take it. I’m single, I’m super single. I try to be good at everything, I’m super confident and I don’t like to lose.”
Jake says super, a lot. Loving the flamingo shirt though. He’s going to match the wallpaper in the house.
Jake chooses to tether himself to Gemma, 29, from Perth.
What we know: Gemma is 6ft 6, says she’s “very bossy on the netball court”. Lucky for us, there are no netball courts in the house.
Gemma is also a nurse and works in orthopedics.
These two are an odd pairing indeed. Big Brother (a.k.a matchmaker) predicts they won’t get along.
Meanwhile, our power couple gets to spy on everyone else as they enter the house and chat about their first impressions.
Next we meet David, 31, from Sydney.
What we know: He manicures his beard, has a commitment-phobia and doesn’t like love. He also claims his beard is “nice smelling”. We’re sceptical.
David is paired with Sandra, 30, from Wagga Wagga.
What we know: Her current status is “very single”. She lives with her parents and wants the whole nation to know what she would totally “date the sh*t” out of herself. Niiiice.
Single Sandra sells underwear, reads too many erotic novels and claims to have a vivid imagination. But how will she cope in the house without her copy of Fifty Shades?
At 31 and 30 respectively, David and Sandra are the oldest housemates so far and they’re both single. Perhaps sparks will fly in the house.
Dion, 24 from Brisbane.
What we know: This guy is our resident gym junkie. He says the one thing that really annoys him is ignorance. Dion seems to be one of the few contestants this year who isn’t single.
He’s also “straight-edge” - no drinking. No partying. Working out two to three times a day. Yawn.
Basically, Dion is this year’s most boring housemate.
Dion grabs hold of Jason, 26, from Canberra.
What we know: He’s in real estate and can’t seem to stop smiling. Lovely to see he’s dressed up for the occasion.
Jason looks nice, perhaps too nice to survive the Big Brother house?
Time will tell.
Next up we meet Skye, 20, from the Gold Coast.
What we know: With an opening line like, “I’m good in small doses” this girl has got to be reality TV gold. Either that, or she'll last a week and will be the first housemate to get the boot.
Skye is a barista, just loves a good caffeine hit in the morning and makes ah-mazing coffees, just ask her.
“I’m super forgetful because I’m always doing about 20 different things. I’m casually dating, having a lot of fun, and not interested in what people say about me.”
Anyone else want Big Brother to stick her in the fishbowl and watch what unfolds?
Skye chooses to be paired with Lisa, 29, from Sydney.
What we know: Lisa likes Instagram. She doesn’t mind the odd selfie, either.
She’s recently single and all of her friends are married and having children.
Lisa says she “likes bad b*tches”. We’re all left scratching our heads.
Big Brother predicts this pairing is going to end in tears. We tend to agree.
In comes Travis, 24, from Victoria.
What we know: Trav is an Italian Stallion who lives at home with his mum.
“Mum’s always telling me off for bringing girls home on a Saturday night, which doesn’t always happen.”
Trav says he always finds the positives in all situations but says, “I know when I’m right and you can’t prove me wrong.”
The Italian Stallion also says his mum doesn’t want him to come home without a girlfriend. He then attempted to take Sonia into the house with him.
We love Trav and his flat cap already.
Travis was paired with Ryan, 26, from Queensland.
What we know: Ryan has three sisters, and while he says he’s by no means a “woman whisperer”, he’s definitely in touch with his feminine side.
Ryan is a graphic designer, “loves a bit of mirror time” and wants the ladies to know that he doesn’t do a lot of dating but he DOES do a lot of drunk dating.
The high-fiving dudes seem the most likely candidates for this year’s Big Brother bromance. Ryan is already calling his partner “Travie”. Adorable.
With the 12 personalities spending their first night together in the house, four more housemates will enter the fold tomorrow night.
Priya and Katie opted to send Dion and Jason to the fishbowl for night one, meaning they can only eat muesli bars and drink water while the rest of the crew party the night away.
Rough stuff, Big Brother.
Big Brother continues Tuesday night, 8.40pm on Nine.
What did you think of tonight’s show? Share with us below.
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